At 60, Connor* is a father of two grown children and someone who has weathered many seasons of life. Last year, after his mother’s passing, he found himself facing a familiar but deeply uncomfortable terrain: navigating complicated family dynamics that stirred old wounds he thought he had left behind. Feeling overwhelmed by conflicting emotions and searching for clarity, Connor decided it was time to seek support again.
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What brought you to counselling this time?
Connor: When my mother died, my siblings and I had to meet to discuss arrangements and other issues that came up. I found those interactions very challenging. Sometimes I wondered if they were deliberately trying to make me unhappy, or make me lose confidence in myself and my own sense of identity.
I realised I needed a “third party”, someone who could listen to the thoughts bouncing around in my head, without judgement. I had come to EMCC before after my divorce, and it was a good experience. So I decided to return.
What were you hoping counselling would help you with?
Connor: I wanted advice on the issues I had with some of my family members. I hoped to muster the courage and confidence to resolve the deep-seated issues.
With the help of my counsellor, I began to see that the conversations with my family were sometimes triggering unhappy childhood memories. That insight alone helped me untangle different issues in my mind, to see what was worth dealing with and what I could learn to let go of.
I also came to realise something important: if I wanted happiness, joy and meaning in my life, I had to abandon the ideal I had for family harmony.
What was helpful about the counselling process?
Connor: Speaking to a professional helped me see the issues through a different lens. My counsellor helped me clear my head even though it’s often clouded by emotion. What to do? This concerns family!
Over the sessions, I learnt to be kinder to myself, to name what I was feeling, and to make decisions about future contact with certain family members. That clarity took a weight off my shoulders.
How are you doing now, after the counselling sessions?
Connor: I feel more aware of what’s mine to carry, and what’s not. Going forward, I want to continue raising my self-awareness and find peace and happiness one morsel at a time.
What would you say to someone thinking about seeking help?
Connor: At some point in our lives, we will face issues that even friends and family, with all their best intentions, cannot help us resolve.
Working hand-in-hand with a professional counsellor helps you find and open that little door in your mind that allows you to see things very clearly. With that clarity, you can build a plan to get yourself on the path to peace and happiness.
Connor’s story is a gentle reminder that healing isn’t only for moments of crisis, it is also for the quiet, complicated aches that resurface when life shifts.
If you recognise any part of yourself in his journey, know that you don’t have to carry it alone. EMCC is here to walk with you.
To ensure that our services remain accessible, subsidised counselling is also provided. For more information, click here.
*Name has been changed to protect the client’s identity.
