Hong Cho (31) and Esther (30) met in the most modern way possible: through a dating app during the COVID-19 period.
After two months of texting through lockdown, they finally met in person and have now been together for over four years.
With their wedding set for October this year, they decided to attend EMCC’s Marriage Preparation Programme (MPP) to better prepare for the next chapter of their relationship.
What led you to attend EMCC’s Marriage Preparation Programme (MPP)?
Hong Cho and Esther:
A lot of our friends had been recommending marriage preparation courses in general and we kept hearing that it would be good to go for something like this before getting married.
Then a colleague introduced EMCC’s programme so we decided to give it a try.
Esther: For me, I saw it more as an educational course. It’s not like we had a major issue that required counselling, but I thought it would be good to learn and prepare.
You mentioned you were initially against it, why was that? What changed your mind?
Hong Cho:
At the start, I was quite against it. I felt that we should just let nature take its course, go through things naturally instead of over-engineering our relationship.
But after speaking to people who had gone through the course, I heard a lot of good feedback. They shared that it helps highlight potential problems that couples might not even be aware of.
That made me realise it’s actually useful to lay these things out on the table and talk through them. And after going through the programme myself, my opinion has definitely changed.
What was your experience like attending the programme?
Hong Cho and Esther:
It was quite fun! Honestly, it felt a bit like going back to class. There was structure, some “homework”, and guided sessions.
But more importantly, it gave us dedicated time and space to really sit down and talk through things, including uncomfortable topics that we might otherwise avoid.
Having a counsellor guide us made a big difference. He could point out what we could do better and help us see things more objectively. The sessions were also very personalised, which made it more meaningful.
What were some key things you learnt from MPP?
Hong Cho and Esther:
One of the most significant things we learnt is that it’s not about resolving conflict, but managing it.
Instead of just trying to “solve the issue”, we learnt to focus on managing emotions, maintaining trust and respect, and how we go through the situation together.
Another key takeaway was communication, especially tone and phrasing. For example, we realised that saying “why you like that?” can come across as accusatory. Now we try to be more mindful and speak in a more respectful, non-confrontational way.
We also learnt to use “I” statements instead of using “you”, for example, saying “I hope we can spend more quality time together” instead of blaming the other person. That shift alone has helped reduce tension.
Did the programme change how you communicate with each other?
Hong Cho and Esther:
Yes, definitely. Our communication has improved, though we are still practising.
We also learnt not to “stonewall”, which means not shutting down or keeping things in. We realised that avoiding conversations can actually create more distance.
Now, we try to communicate more openly instead of staying silent or brushing things aside.
Were there any particularly impactful moments or insights?
Hong Cho and Esther:
The personality assessments and discussions were very impactful.
We realised that we are actually quite different as people. For example, Esther tends to be more people-pleasing, while Hong Cho is on the other end of the spectrum.
The coach helped us understand why we react to similar situations in different ways, based on our personalities and backgrounds. That gave us a more logical way of understanding each other, instead of making assumptions.
It also made us realise that even though things seemed “okay” on the surface before, there were underlying issues we hadn’t recognised and therefore couldn’t address.
Has MPP changed how you feel about your upcoming marriage?
Hong Cho and Esther:
It’s made us feel more hopeful.
We know that conflicts will still happen, and that’s normal, but now we feel better prepared to handle them. We’re more aware of how to communicate and how to manage disagreements in a respectful way.
Instead of feeling anxious about the future, we feel more confident that we can work through challenges together.
How are you applying what you’ve learnt now?
Hong Cho and Esther:
We’re trying to apply it in our daily lives and even in wedding planning, which can get stressful.
We’re more mindful of our tone, how we phrase things, and how we approach disagreements. Instead of blaming each other, we try to understand each other’s feelings and work as a team.
These are small changes, but they make a big difference.
Would you recommend MPP to other couples?
Hong Cho and Esther:
Yes, definitely, we would recommend it to anyone who is preparing for marriage.
One thing we appreciate about this programme is how personalised it is. The pre-course survey helps the coach understand your personalities, so the guidance you receive is tailored to you as a couple.
There are also practical sessions and role plays, which make it much more effective than just learning theory.
But we would say, come with an open mind. That’s when you’ll benefit the most.
Hong Cho and Esther’s journey shows that preparing for marriage isn’t about fixing problems, it’s about building understanding, communication, and awareness before stepping into a lifelong commitment.
EMCC’s Marriage Preparation Programme provides couples with a structured and supportive space to have meaningful conversations, uncover blind spots, and develop practical tools to navigate marriage with confidence and hope.
We have also expanded beyond pre-marriage preparation with our new Relationship Garden suite of programmes, which supports couples across the different stages of life. Instead of only journeying with couples during their wedding preparation phase, we continue to journey with them while they enter new seasons in their relationship and families.
To find out more about EMCC’s Relationship Garden programmes, visit here or reach out to us at training@emcc.org.sg.
