Connor* is 60 years old and has two grown children from his first marriage. Last year, when his mother died after an illness, he met his siblings and other family members to discuss arrangements and issues arising from her passing.
“I found the interactions with them challenging. Sometimes I wondered if they were deliberately trying to make me unhappy, lose confidence in myself, and my own sense of identity.
“I decided I needed a “third party” to listen to the different thoughts bouncing around in my head.”
Connor had previously sought counselling from EMCC after his divorce and found it useful. He decided to go with EMCC again.
This time, Connor was looking for advice on the issues he had relating to some of his family members.
“I hoped to muster the courage and confidence to resolve the deep-seated issues. With the help of my EMCC counsellor, I saw that the conversations with my family members were sometimes triggering unhappy childhood memories.”
“The insights helped to untangle the different issues in my mind, allowing me to identify issues worth dealing with and learning to let go of others. I came to realise that to have happiness, joy and meaning in my life, I had to abandon the ideal I had for family harmony.”
“I’ve also learnt how to clear my head, though it is often clouded in emotion (what to do? this concerns family!)”
Speaking to a professional had helped Connor “to see the issues through a different lens.”
“Counselling has helped me to become kinder to myself. Going forward, I want to continue to raise my self-awareness and be able to find peace and happiness one morsel at a time.”
Over three sessions, Connor was able to process his conflicted feelings and make some decisions on his future contact with certain of his family members.
Connor’s advice for anyone thinking of getting help from a professional therapist or counsellor:
“At some juncture in our lives, we will face issues which even friends and family with their best intentions cannot help you resolve. Working hand-in-hand with a professional counsellor helps you find and open that little door in your mind which helps you see things very clearly. With that clarity, you can then build yourself a plan to get you on the path to peace and happiness.”
*not his real name