LK and DY, married for over 30 years and parents of two, are professional coaches and adult educators. Despite their experience in guiding others, they struggled with communication and unresolved conflicts after DY’s decision to stop working. Overwhelmed by recurring arguments and emotional disconnection, LK suggested counselling, but DY was hesitant. As their intermittent conflicts persisted, he began wondering, “Is this what retired life will be—endless disagreements?”
What led you to seek counselling as a couple?
LK: After DY stopped working, tensions between us started growing. We could spend more time together now. But instead of growing closer, we found ourselves arguing constantly. I noticed that small disagreements would escalate due to breakdowns in communication. I knew how helpful counselling could be and suggested couple’s counselling to DY. But he was reluctant and thought we could manage it ourselves so I just tried to hold things together as best I could.
DY: It took over a year for me to agree to counselling. There were good times, like holidays, but stressful periods would cause the conflicts to resurface. It was painful to be with someone I love yet struggle to share joyful experiences. I began wondering, ‘Is this what the rest of my life will be—endless fighting?’ So despite my reservations, I realised it was time to seek counselling.
Why did you choose EMCC for counselling?
DY: As a logical person, I needed a systematic approach. When LK recommended counselling, I wasn’t keen on the options I saw. But when I found EMCC’s structured, research-based approach, I felt it was the right fit for us. We requested a counsellor who could understand the challenges we faced at this stage of life, and we were relieved and grateful to be matched with Thomas who truly suited our needs. “It wasn’t just talking through our feelings—there were concrete strategies to help us improve our situation.”
How did counselling help you as a couple?
DY: The counsellor helped uncover issues we hadn’t realised existed. “We learned how to communicate without fear of judgment.” He listened to what was being said—and what wasn’t. He would point out patterns and emotions underlying our conversations. I also recognised that my naturally loud emotional expression could come off as hurtful, so I made efforts to adjust.
LK: Our counsellor created a safe space for both of us to express ourselves openly. Counselling offers a neutral environment where both of use can express our thoughts and feelings openly, facilitating a honest dialogue. The presence of a counsellor also holds us accountable on steps forward. While we still experience conflicts, things are much calmer at home now, helping us work toward a healthier relationship.
How are things now, and how do you see the future?
DY: We’ve learned to let go of misunderstandings and appreciate each other’s efforts. I’m also more involved at home now, and LK responds to this by being more patient and understanding in our interactions. We’ve started taking short trips to relax and spend quality time together. These small changes have significantly strengthened our connection.
LK: There’s more understanding, patience, peace, and happiness between us. Counselling helped us deepen emotional connection and moving beyond surface-level interactions. This sets the stage for future dream dialogues while fostering personal development and adaptability.
What would you say to couples considering counselling?
LK: Counselling doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it means you care enough to want something better. It requires hard work, but it’s worth every bit of effort for the peace and connection you gain.
DY: Be open and get the help you need—it’s worth it. Just like going to the gym to improve physically or getting tuition for academics, we all need a little support for our emotional and relational well-being too. And honestly, I think the price you pay for counselling is worth more than any expensive Valentine’s Day gift!
Through their journey, LK and DY have rebuilt trust, understanding, and connection. Their story is a testament to how counselling can transform relationships and foster hope.
If you feel you need professional help and emotional support, please reach out to EMCC. Our counsellors are here to help and support you.
To ensure that our services remain accessible, subsidised counselling is also provided. For more information, click here.
